


The Dumbest of the Dumb

by Dogsled



Category: due South
Genre: Drunken Confessions, Kissing at Midnight, M/M, Mutually Unrequited, New Year's Eve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-06
Updated: 2015-01-06
Packaged: 2018-03-06 10:41:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3131558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dogsled/pseuds/Dogsled
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's New Years Eve. After spending his night drinking at home alone, Ray Kowalski crashes Vecchio's apartment to settle a score.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Dumbest of the Dumb

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Scribe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scribe/gifts).



"Chicago PD! Open the door!" Bang bang bang bang bang. The door rattled on it's hinges.

"Open up or I'll kick it in. I can uh--I can do that you know!" Bang bang bang bang. "Don't say I didn't warn you!"

And then there was an enormous bang, and a clunk, and a pathetic little groan.

Ray swung open the door, leaning with his shoulder just against it. Kowalksi lay in a turtle pose in the corridor, clutching his foot and rocking gently. "You done?"

"I think I've broken my foot," Stanley whined, and Ray shook his head and stepped out, helping him up to his feet - foot - and guiding him hopping into his apartment.

"Take it easy. Here, sit down. What are you doing here, anyway?" Kowalski smelled awful, like loneliness and misery and drinking alone on New Years Eve.

"Came for... I forgot. Oh!" Ray was rolling his eyes already. "You slept with my woman! My Stella." He sniffed. " _Stelllllaaah..._ "

Ray almost felt bad for him. He sat down next to Kowalski on the couch and patted his shoulder. "Well first thing's first, she's not your woman. And second thing--we never slept together. She wanted to, sure, but I wasn't up for it."

"Oh yeah? Like I believe that."

"You forget the bit where I took a bullet for my best friend?"

"Wouldn't have stopped me," Stanley huffed, and slumped back on the couch. 

Ray patted him on the thigh. "Hey, buck up. It's not the end of the world."

" _Buck up_? Did you seriously just tell me to--" Stanley scowled at him, then did a double-take at Ray's hand, which had now settled on his own knee. "Did you just pet my thigh?"

"You're imagining things."

"That's bullshit. You just pet my thigh. You're coming on to me."

"You're drunk," Ray pointed out.

"I am drunk. And you're still coming on to me."

Ray shucked closer, lowering his voice to something resembling sultry. "It's almost midnight," he purred.

Stanley blanched. "You _are_ coming on to me! You--you freak! No wonder you and Fraser get on so well!"

"I'm not the one who showed up here drunk on New Years Eve."

"What's that got to do with anything?"

Ray shrugged. "Why here? Why didn't you drive over and wake Stella up if you were so jealous about the two of us?"

"I..." He was properly confused. "What?"

Ray grinned, and reached up to ruffle Stanley's hair - which only made him pout and fight him off - shaking his head. "I'm messing with you. You're so easy." He stood up, heading out into the adjoining kitchenette to make coffee. When he came back, Stanley was still scowling at his hands.

"You're an asshole," Stanley accused, at last, looking up at Ray as he put down the fresh coffee.

"Yeah," Ray admitted, beaming his slyest smirk.

"But," Stanley said, and suddenly he was all teeth, a grin that would put fear into the stoutest heart. "You're also right."

"Yeah, I am-- Hang on, what?"

Stanley was up out of his seat like a Jack-in-the-Box, and Ray pinwheeled his arms helplessly as he fell back, managing to avoid knocking over the coffee by sheer luck. There was the briefest catch of lips on his own, but things got out of control quickly enough. Ray hit the floor hard, and stared up - stunned - at an equally baffled looking Kowalski standing over him.

"Overreaction much," Stanley teased.

"Yeah well...well you caught me off guard. What are you doing?"

Stanley offered him his hand, but Ray eyed it uncertainly for a moment, as though afraid it might lunge out and bite him. Finally he put his trust in it, and Kowalski pulled him upright again, wrapping his arms around him before he could get away.

"I thought that was obvious," Stanley said.

"I was joking about the kissing thing. You're jealous that Stella's into me--"

"I'm jealous that she's into you, yeah. But I've been living your life for a while now. Maybe I'm a bit into you too."

"That makes absolutely no sense."

"Sure it does. I mean, look at how much we got in common. We both grew up in Chicago, both got ex-wives, both cops, both really into classic cars--my dad would love you..."

"That just means we have a lot in common," Ray grumbled, trying to get an arm up between them before Kowalski was tempted to go in for another try.

"And then there's Fraser--"

Vecchio froze. "What about Fraser?"

"You know. Fraser, and how much you're totally into him."

Ray's eyes crossed as he tried to glare. This close it really lost all its power--which wasn't much in the first place.

"What?" Stanley said. "Not gonna disagree with that one?"

"Will you just get it over with, already?"

Stanley rolled his eyes. "So it's true what they say about Italians and romance--"

"Romance is dead, Kowalski. But who said anything about romance? You're the one who thinks that just cause we're both into Fraser we should bump uglies with each other instead. That's--"

"Pretty dumb, yeah." Stanley grinned, and play-bit Ray on the nose.

"I was gonna say 'weird'."

"That too."

Stanley kissed him until it didn't seem to matter _why_ he was here any more, just that he was. Funny. He'd been planning to sleep through the New Year. Now he had company, there didn't seem to be much point.


End file.
